Wednesday, June 10, 2009

One Time in Mime Troupe

Most mimes are annoying. It's sort of like the Macarena on a smaller scale. A large number of people looking silly doing the same things over and over.” - Keith Irwin

It was there all along. A locked door that not even years of therapy could help me unlock. The hours and dollars spent on self-discovery could have easily been saved if I had just taken the time to go through the old pictures at mom and dad’s. I guess I had blocked it out.


I don’t ever remember consciously blocking it out and I really don’t think I had any bad experience that would cause me to do so but I did. I had forgotten that I was a proud member of The Mime Troupe at Spring Oaks Junior High. There I said it; I was a mime.

Or is it, “I am a mime”? What about the old chestnut “once a mime, always a mime”, I’m sure someone has said that once or twice somewhere. So yes, I’m a non-practicing mime. No, scratch that, I walked by someone’s cube yesterday and mimed the international “hang loose” sign with my hand holding it to my ear to silently signal someone to call me when they got off the phone. The success of my artistry was evidenced by the fact that said person did indeed call me when they got off of the phone.

So in my quest to define myself I’ve stumbled upon another piece of the puzzle. But what does being a childhood prodigy of mime say about me and why had I forgotten about it? Well, for one thing any of my friends reading this are finding it hard to believe that I was ever quiet long enough to get through a mime show but my tendency to be verbose is well documented so nothing new there.

It also dates me back to the days when mime was briefly king of the entertainment world. There was even a prime time show featuring mime on network television, The Shields and Yarnell Show. That was Must See TV around our house and I still remember cracking up at their robot family skits. Most of my contemporary’s kids and the typical women I date would have a hard time believing a variety show centered on mime had a successful run in prime time; when there were only 5 channels no less.

It was that damnable Facebook that pricked the long dormant smell of greasepaint, powder and hairspray for me. I’m friends with my junior high drama teacher on there and some suck up former student brought up how neat it would be to have a mime troupe reunion and it all came rushing back. I can see the notification now; You’re invited to join the group, “Mime is Mimetastic”-2 friends have joined…That would so not be neat.

But why had I blocked it out? I hadn’t blocked out that I played football and baseball or was in other drama productions. Plus, now it may be a hackneyed joke and the bane of San Francisco street performers but mime was actually cool back then. I was lucky enough to see Marcel Marceau twice and in all seriousness can say that he was a true artist whose life’s work should not be marginalized by mime’s faded popularity as a form of expression. It was Marceau that poignantly observed, “do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?”

I don’t know, the more I think about it maybe I should have let this lie. If I blocked out the memories of my relative success as a mime, what kind of horrors and angst am I potentially unlocking for those losers that didn’t make the cut. Maybe the only thing that says more about someone than being a successful member of the mime troupe is having tried out and not made the mime troupe.

Alas, mime has devolved into being the Members Only jacket of the performance arts but just think if it got popular again. I’m not a celebrity so I wouldn’t make it on Miming with the Stars but I could definitely picture Ryan Seacrest calling my name out as the next winner of American Mime. I wonder if my white overalls are still at mom and dad’s somewhere
...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

On Writing

Man, I don’t see how real aspiring writers do it. I don’t see how they work some day job and then go home and have any kind of discipline to write over months and sometimes years to produce their work.

I’ve taken a much-needed break from writing over the last few months partly because my day job is zapping all my creativity and work energy and partly because I was just tired of writing. When I was writing my blog last year on the Houston Chronicle online Commons I had the luxury of not working (if you call being jobless and depressed a luxury) and could ignorantly affect the routine of one who writes for a living without all the hard work and years of struggle that usually precede that.

Part of my acceptance of mediocrity and not living up to my potential as you may see it is to be able to freely admit that I am not driven enough to follow a dream of any sort for any extended period of time; especially if it’s done in obscurity and without adulation and if I’m really not getting paid for it.

A side issue that I think weighed on me more than I realized when I thought about starting up again was also partly what caused me to pause in the first place. When I moved my online essays over to Blogger from the Commons it was about the same time I accepted Facebook into my life.

I realized I couldn’t restart the process without acknowledging this social phenomenon that has become part of my daily routine and the existence of the people that populate that routine. I had been writing in relative anonymity as BobLoblaw and couldn’t tell you if anybody other than my little Commons girlfriend, Gwen1999, ever read what I wrote before.

I thought I would recycle a lot of my old content for a new broader audience through this social-networking juggernaut but I didn’t stop to think how writing for people that know me, or knew me perhaps, would alter the honesty or the way I approached my more serious content.

Now I actively welcome the challenge but initially writing with the idea that someone was almost certainly going to read what I wrote was suddenly daunting. It’s made even more so by the fact that I care about what the people that will read this think. Although I bill myself as the most Self-Indulgent and Pretentious Person in the blogosphere, I don’t really want anyone I know to think that about me but I guess its part of the territory.

Anyway, there is no way I can crank out a couple of columns a week again with my current schedule so I’m going to shoot for one or so a week but rather than recycle stale stuff, I’ll revisit some of the issues I’ve dealt with like depression and interracial dating with a new voice and a new audience..I hope. But, I will have to share some of my favorites from the Commons from time to time, like "My Fifteen Hours in County." Gwen1999 thought that one was hilarious.

Enough about writing about writing; thanks for your indulgence. My next post will be your reward and I guarantee you will never look at a mime the same way again.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

MBFTVE Update!

So last year I had this brilliant and fairly spontaneous idea to go without television for a year and introduced the experiment on my blog and blabbed about it to all my friends so as not to easily backslide when the going got rough…and believe me the going has been rough at times.

It’s been over six months since I started going without TV last July and I wanted to share some of my impressions and experiences should you decide to undertake something so foolish.

As I wrote in my first post, I was in the middle of summer reruns and not much was happening in sports when I started so it was easy to ease into. However, as the new fall season started and especially when football season started, there have been times when I thought I was going to pull my hair out.

In the interest of full disclosure I have to start off by admitting that although I haven’t watched TV at home in the traditional manner I haven’t missed out on as much content as I first imagined I would. Perhaps it’s kind of cheesy but I didn’t extend my self-imposed restriction to watching content on the internet and it didn’t take me long to discover free episodes of my favorite shows on the network websites and other TV and movie content sites like
www.hulu.com.

Through those avenues I’ve been able to keep up with Jack Bauer, ET. Al. without missing a beat in most cases and online there are fewer commercials, although that will most assuredly change as viewing habits shift. Granted, I’m watching them on my laptop screen instead of the 60” Mitsubishi but I really don’t notice the difference that much.

I also rented a bunch of movies and whole seasons of shows like Entourage when I was first going through withdrawals but now I might be good for a trip to the Red Box once every week or two, if that.

Unexpectedly, I think I’ve stumbled upon a snapshot of how my generation’s offspring will view and access most of their entertainment in the not too distant future. Having said that, I must also add that viewing content actively like this is much more purposeful than flipping on the TV and letting it stream constantly in the background and that’s what I found I missed the most in the end.

It wasn’t as much the big chunks of TV that I used to sit and watch that I missed the most, it was the little in-between times we watch TV that really gave me fits. You know, when you’ve got something to do in an hour and you’re all ready to go and you just want to sit down and veg out for a few minutes and flip through the channels. Maybe learn something about sharks or catch Final Jeopardy...or just have it on in the background.

I guess you could say I missed the habit of TV, if that makes sense, more so than any specific show but think about it. I’ve had Good Morning America on while I get up and moving every morning for over 25 years!

As noble as I make this all sound now, remember that this was Comcast’s idea in the first place but I don’t think it could have worked out better for me at times. This experiment happened to coincide with a period last year when I was really struggling with depression, hence the no working and the no bill paying.

I found that I couldn’t lie around and indulge the chemicals in my brain nearly as easy as I could with access to television. Sure, there were times when I gave in and watched Hulu all day but most days I fought it through the benefit of what I was forced to do without TV as my default mode of inactivity.

My dogs certainly benefited from more attention and I’ve spent more time writing. My house is not any cleaner and I haven’t read as much as I thought I would. Oh, and I spent a lot more time at the gym but I may have cancelled that out with all the beer I drank and greasy sports bar food I ate during my frequent trips to the local tavern when I needed a sports fix or wanted to torture myself by watching the Texans.

Most of all however, I’ve spent more time with people and that’s been the greatest benefit. As planned, I eat dinner and watch Survivor every Thursday over at my parents and that’s been priceless. Plus, I’m much more prone to accept an offer to meet up with a friend or help someone with a project because I am literally bored out of my mind sitting around at home sometimes.

So what will I do when June 30th rolls around? I speculate about what if I did get even just the basic channels. Would I be reformed and view television differently? Leave it off more often? Or would I go back to my old habits?

I don’t know. It’ll be one day at a time I guess.

My name is Greg…and I’m a TV-aholic...


This Weekend: A Man and His Hair

Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Big Fat TV Experiment!

Editor's Note: This was originally posted in August of '08 right after I started this experiment. Tuesday, I'll post an exciting update!

“The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly, that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.” ~ Ray Bradbury, The Golden Apples of the Sun

OK, so I got behind a little on my Comcast account and those unreasonable turkeys took it personally and turned off my cable and my internet. Fine, no big deal, it’s happened before but this time they wanted a deposit since I was a habitual slow-payer. Fair enough but it got me to thinking.

They did it on a Friday and I went without television for a whole weekend which is a pretty big deal if you knew how much TV I watched. That’s when this little experiment started to take shape. What I found is that once I was unshackled from the hold that television had on me I was free to be a much more productive person. Watching TV is not an activity; it’s inactivity.

I couldn’t just sit and do nothing anymore; I could read again… and I could think again! Perhaps accurately, the noted architect Frank Lloyd Wright called television, “chewing gum for the eyes.”

In my opinion, you’re either a TV person or a music person and I’m a TV person. By that I mean some people walk in the door and turn the TV on and some people walk in and turn the radio on or put on some music and I guess there’s even a sub-group of people that sit around without any noise which was unfathomable to me.

I realized that I could rationalize and make a viable experiment of going without television but these days unless one wants to go to the library or Panera Bread two or three times a day to check email and pay bills (yes I do pay some bills), you pretty much need to have internet access of some kind.

Well, my neighbor has a wireless router and I can pick up a pretty good signal from it. After Comcast’s ruthless action, I made a phone call to said neighbor, told him of my grand experiment and suggested I shoot him $20 bucks a month and split the cost of his internet with him. Done and done.

One might suggest that I simply just decide to watch less TV and that would be a valid suggestion for anyone that had willpower in their personal repertoire. I, unfortunately, do not. If television is available than I will avail myself of it; it’s like a Fully Digital High Definition Sixty Inch Widescreen needle mainlining useless drivel into my brain. My drug of choice if you will.

One might also suggest that I just get some rabbit ears and limit myself to “regular” TV with ten channels or whatever (and I remember when there were only 5 in Houston and no cable or satellite.) Actually I did that for a couple of years before but found that whether it be one channel or a thousand, I’ll watch whatever’s on including Spanish Tele-novellas that I don’t even comprende.

So I officially started my experiment the first of July and so far so good. With the dearth of first-run shows and must-see TV available during the summer, it’s not been too bad at this point but I’m already worrying about how this is going to go over when fall comes around. I’m already behind on what’s happening with Nancy Botwin and what will become of Dexter? What am I going to do without NCIS? How can I live without knowing who got kicked off the island?

Seriously though, what will I really miss about TV other than the pixilated lullaby at bedtime? I think sports will be the number one thing. Thank goodness Tiger is out for the rest of the golf season but come football season I expect to have Delirium Tremens that would rival that of any aficionado of Thunderbird or MD 20/20.

To be fair I will note that I’m not going to avoid TV entirely; I just won’t have it at my house. I find myself looking forward to the trips to the local tavern when my beloved Texans are playing and my mom and I have already talked about having Survivor night on Thursdays. And I’ll also rent movies and stuff from time to time.

Sadly the bank of otherwise useless and random pop trivia I’ve accumulated through TV is all I have to hang my hat on sometimes at the end of the day. And perhaps that’s what I dread the most about not having the “idiot box” glowing in my living room and dutifully putting me to sleep at night. I worry about how much pop trivia I will get behind on or miss altogether.

But that’s kind of the point I guess…

Tuesday: Update! My Big Fat TV Experiment!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

25 Random Things About Me-A Facebook Exercise

1. I agree with Stephen Wright that you’re not paranoid if someone is really following you.

2. If raising great dogs is any kind of indicator as to the father I would have been..um, I would have been a great father.

3. My niece and nephews grew up way too fast but they’re all gonna be great grown-ups I have a lot in common with.

4. On the last day of a trip, I once helped a girl get a street dog vaccinated and its records post-dated and then successfully brought it back to Houston from Playa del Carmen, Mexico…she named him Amigo.

5. I’m surrounded by friends that make me so proud in the parents they’ve become and the great kids they’re raising.

6. I think in Haiku when I’m sad sometimes.

7. Eight years ago I wrote 7 solid pages and a tight outline of a novel that I will admittedly never finish but I still think about it almost every day.

8. I also wrote 3 pages of a sweet screenplay based on a true story that I will never finish but I think about that a lot too.

9. Over the last 10 years I’ve had the good fortune in life to have jobs and friends with jobs that has allowed me to average eating lunch 2 or 3 times a week all over Houston with the same group of friends and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

10. I’ve told 5 women that I loved them but now that I better understand love I think I really only loved 2 of them.

11. I have the same waist size as Jerry Seinfeld.

12. I purposely gained 15 pounds over the last year.

13. I have not watched TV at my house since the beginning of July last year.

14. I have a list of 5 things that I have said or written that are worth re-quoting.

15. I used to routinely stand around alone in a restaurant or club waiting for someone and having a fake phone conversation so as not to appear like a lonely loser with no friends but I don’t do that anymore…now I stand around and fake text.

16. By my humble estimation, I could beat 95% of the people that read this in Jeopardy.

17. I played golf almost every week for years and then my clubs got stolen and I haven’t played since and I oddly don’t miss it.

18. Hank Jr. said it best, “All my rowdy friends have settled down”…so I went out and made a bunch of new rowdy friends…and then they all settled down too.

19. I lived in my dream house by the time I was 30…poetically, my ex-girlfriend and her family still live there and now it’s their dream house.

20. “My Little Runaway” by Del Shannon was the Billboard number one hit the week I was born.

21. I recently let my hair grow for a year and a half just to get back at my parents for not letting me have it long in the 70’s.

22. The optimism and hope in my sister’s 25 Random Things made me physically tired…but also very, very proud.

23. I love Houston and living 15 minutes from my mom and dad.

24. The beach still makes me feel like a little kid.

25. Finally, to paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, if I’m screwed up it’s not because of my parents; it’s because I’m just a shithead.

Coming Friday: My Big Fat TV Experiment

Friday, February 6, 2009

Flotsam

Flotsam (flŏt'sum) noun – American Heritage Dictionary

a. Wreckage or cargo that remains afloat after a ship has sunk.
b. Floating refuse or debris.
c. Discarded odds and ends.
d. Vagrant, usually destitute people.

The brief definitions above are much more succinct than I could be at explaining the figurative reason I included the word flotsam in the title of my blog. Through my ups and downs I feel like I have accumulated a collection of odds and ends in my psyche that need to be discarded…or shared. I also like the word for commercial reasons because it’s catchy and full of angst and goes good with “forty” and it will still be catchy should this blog(ugh) last long enough to be changed to Flotsam at Fifty one day.

Through my previous posting of the two parts of my Blog Manifesto, I have given you the how and the why of my essays. Now let me tell you a little about the who and maybe it will all come together in the end and make my blog a must-read amongst the literati.

I’ve earned my hard-won experience through a divorce, a couple of live-ins, other failed relationships, failed business ownership, financial ups and downs and struggles with type II manic-depression (more on that in a later essay.) Oh and I have a chronic illness, Chron’s Disease, that has humbled me more times than I can count when compared to the physical suffering of others.

Due to a surgery I had seventeen years ago relating to Chron’s (rhymes with phones), my system doesn’t absorb the vitamin B-12 like it should and when that is deficient it literally causes the emotions of regret and remorse to be overwhelming at times in ones brain. Ironically, it took an episode of the hospital show, House, to teach me that fact and how important it is for me to give myself shots of said vitamin.

I didn’t try any illegal substances (emphasis on the past tense and please, please don’t say anything to my parents) until I was thirty-five but subsequently tried everything short of injecting anything into my body. Because I got married right out of college and was married throughout my twenties I’ve often said I lived my twenties in my thirties and it’s leaked over into my forties!

Thank God, I’m more prone to obsession and compulsion than I am to addiction because although I do feel that it has given me a practical education when it comes to the debate about illegal drugs in our city and in society (more on that in a later essay); when it’s said and done, it’s all just so much playing with fire.

Don’t read too much into it but here’s a Haiku that I wrote about that…

untitled (addiction)

my mind toys with it-
something that cannot be reigned
passing hand o’er flame

Although I was raised in the south and my parents are from rural Alabama, my sister and I were raised in a very un-prejudiced household and I think that seeming dichotomy is born of the strong faith our parents share.

My last girlfriend was a twenty-three year old Nigerian model and student and she is among a handful of African-American women that I have dated. They were all thirty or under save one and for a middle-aged male that can’t afford a Corvette, it was always about the age and not the ethnicity (more on that in a later essay too.) I’ve dated more women in their twenties than I can count and it’s all a grand confluence of my personal Peter Pan Syndrome crashing into their issues with daddy and everyone wins.

Look at the third definition for Flotsam above, “vagrant, usually destitute people.” Like so many in today’s America, I feel like I’ve been a paycheck or extended illness away from destitution almost constantly over the last umpteen years. There’s also a personal moral destitution I’ve felt at times or at least touched and it’s something that infuses the very relevant views I have on issues confronting all of us.

Perhaps more than anything though, as I go through what I generously hope is middle age for me, the emotional flotsam that has seemingly broken away from my very soul has made me feel truly mortal for perhaps the first time in my life.

To be precise, I think my broad experience makes me someone whose opinion is worth considering on a wide range of cultural and social issues. I humbly ask that you consider my viewpoint as that of a self-professed unnervingly human and capable everyman; a Jimmy Stewart or Tom Hanks if you will, for the blogosphere.

Tuesday: 25 Random Things About Me-A Facebook Exercise

My Blog Manifesto-Part II

“Know thyself.” Socrates

Ok, if you read my Blog Manifesto-Part I, you know what my technical parameters are for this blog(ugh!) Given my tendency to be verbose, I’m already finding keeping my essays around 750 words will be more of a challenge than I expected.

In this second part of my Manifesto I will give you some insight into where I’m coming from and what makes me think I can write anything you might want to hear. I guess perhaps maybe the whole idea is to write for oneself but if you notice I’m kind of iffy on that point. I feel that I have the soul of a writer but also the heart of a life-long salesman and marketer and absent a consistent muse, I have to think in terms of whom my marketable audience is and what I can draw from that will make you want to buy what I’m selling, so to speak.

The first one’s easy, my target audience is those that are forty-plus, like me, or those that are fast approaching forty and even some of you that have encroached upon your fifties (By the way, as I rapidly approach that number, screw fifty being the new forty; come see me when fifty is the new thirty.)Secondly, I’m looking for a kinship in what I write; I’m seeking to explain the unexplainable sometimes in terms that might make you say, “Yep, I know just what he feels like…”

At times my urge to write feels like Peter Keating coming too late to the discipline of self-belief and trueness to one’s inner rhythm and calling. I’ve come to embrace this calling, for lack of a better term, not through the pompous bromide I suffer to share but rather I share to stay sane…

Also, how can I define myself in this brief introduction that will place me in the right age range but also identify me as a kindred spirit of this odd half-generation we share that seems to make up the fence I straddle on so many issues and technologies.

For starters, I never had to get under a desk for a bomb drill in class but I was among the first group of eighteen-year-olds that had to register for the draft since the Vietnam War as our country planned for fighting the indefinable Cold-war. That also means I have picture albums full of bell-bottom pants, leisure suits and large bow ties and prom pictures with ruffled shirts.

I bill myself as the Gregster, a bon vivant, a Student of Human Nature and perhaps most telling in regard to the extent of my humility, as The Guy Who Knows a Little About a Lot. That’s the best way I can characterize the amalgam of information I have picked up over the years of being a people-watcher, reading the newspaper voraciously and watching way too much TV.

Now that I finally feel like I have something to share, I do find it hilariously coincidental that one of the two classes I dropped in college was English and it was mainly because I later realized I didn’t have the discipline or the depth of experience necessary to write even the most basic term paper or essay at that time.

I guess what I’m selling in the end is that life is hard and complicated and sometimes seemingly unbearable but if it weren’t for other people. People that you don’t even know; people that may save your life one day; people that remind you that you’re not alone…when you feel like you’re alone…

So that’s my manifesto, much Like Charles Foster Kane’s Declaration of Principles it’s full of hope and grandiosity. It’s an emotional business plan, if you will, for sharing my thoughts, confusion and yes, principles, on a wide range of subjects in a pretentious and self-indulgent manner that only cyberspace can provide.

Oh, and If you know what book Peter Keating is a character in and if you know what movie Charles Foster Kane dominates then we’ll get along just fine…and you’ll also know what my favorite book and movie are…

Next Up-My First Web Essay; Flotsam